Marg McAlister

The issue of how to handle viewpoint is complex enough for writers to have written whole books on this subject.

There are many things to consider - from how viewpoint affects dialogue through to filtering setting through viewpoint - but today we're going to look at four viewpoint problems that I notice coming up again and again. Check your work for these four, fix anything that's disturbing your reader, and you're going to see a big improvement in your work.

1. Orient the Reader

This is incredibly important. When you write a story, you're inviting the reader to experience life from inside another person's head for a while. And not just from inside that character's head - if you write well, your readers are going to feel as though they're right inside that person's skin. They can feel a cold breeze that raises goosebumps; they experience joy and despair; they 'hear' other characters talking.

So imagine what it's like for the reader when they reach the end of the first page and suddenly realize that the viewpoint character is not the person they thought. For example, the way the first paragraph is written might make them think they are in Maria's head, looking at the world through her eyes - then suddenly they find they have 'become' Jack.

Here's how it can happen:

Maria sprayed Pledge onto the already gleaming table surface and polished vigorously, pushing the cloth around with angry wide swipes. Whenever Jack annoyed her, she'd clamp down the words that she was itching to say, haul out the cleaning tools and start in on the house. Hours later everything gleamed and the house smelled of citrus, but nothing would be resolved.

Jack watched her from behind a newspaper in his favorite chair in the sitting room, wishing she'd just come out with whatever was bugging her.

Do you see the problem? Because the scene started by telling us what Maria was doing, we assumed that we were about to find out why she was cleaning so furiously and what Jack had done to annoy her. We thought we were inside HER head, not Jack's.

Then we read the first sentence of the second paragraph, and everything is turned on its head. OH, we think, we're not in Maria's head at all. Jack was just *watching* her do the cleaning... we are seeing all this from HIS point of view!

How do we know that the scene is from Jack's viewpoint? Because we are tapping into his thoughts: "...wishing she'd just come out with whatever was bugging her."

When you re-read that first paragraph, you realize that it could be from either Maria OR Jack's viewpoint. He could be just watching her cleaning with 'angry wide swipes'.

What about the words "Whenever Jack annoyed her, she'd clamp down on what she was itching to say, haul out the cleaning tools and start in on the house..."? Isn't this tapping into her thoughts? No, not necessarily. The next paragraph shows us that Jack is well aware of how she handles stress - she bottles it up. Obviously this is standard behavior from Maria.

The problem is that the first paragraph doesn't actually tap into Maria's thoughts - but it could be taken that way.

How do you fix this? It's very easy. At the beginning of every scene, ORIENT YOUR READERS. Make sure they know beyond doubt whose head they are in. All you have to do is begin the scene with the name of the viewpoint character, and your readers are happy. Here's how you could adapt the earlier version so the reader knows right upfront who the viewpoint character is:

Jack stared at the paper without reading any of it, sneaking looks at Maria spraying Pledge on the kitchen table and polishing with wide, angry swipes. Whenever he annoyed her, she'd clamp down on the words she was obviously itching to say, haul out the cleaning tools and start in on the house...

2. Don't Switch Viewpoint Mid-Scene

Let me admit upfront: I'm a 'point of view purist'. That means that I'm not keen on jumping from one person's head to another in the same scene. Yes, I know a lot of popular novelists do this. Yes, I know that some of them handle it quite well.

I still maintain that it is better to stick with one viewpoint character per scene. If you jump across to tell us what someone else is thinking, then jump back to the previous character's viewpoint again, it's usually jarring. It also decreases suspense, because the reader knows what everyone is thinking.

If you're having problems with viewpoint, make this a priority: write your scenes looking out ONLY through one person's eyes. This will solve most of your problems. Imagine that YOU are the viewpoint character. It's essentially the same as living in your own body. You can't be certain of how others are feeling or know beyond doubt what they are thinking - you can only guess at these things, based on what you see, hear, feel or sense.

• You can see how others are dressed - but you don't know how their clothing feels. You don't know if their underwear is uncomfortable or itchy (unless they tell you).

• You can hear anger or happiness in their voices - but you can't actually feel their emotions.

• You can see what they are eating - but you can't actually taste the ice-cream cone or that Indian curry.

• You can wonder at their motives for doing something - but you can't read their minds.

3. Don't Slip Out Of Viewpoint to Describe Your Character

This is all too common. A good way to see if your description of your viewpoint character is working is to put it in the first person and see if it still makes sense. (This is assuming that you have written it in the third person to begin with, of course.)

Remember that when you're looking out through a certain character's eyes, he can't see his own face. Unless he's looking at his reflection, he can't see his entire body, either - he can see only bits of it. He very probably can't see his own hair, or his own facial expressions. Therefore, if you describe these things, you are slipping out of viewpoint - you'd have to be looking AT him through someone else's eyes to see them. The following statements are generally true:

• A character can't see his own hair gleaming in the sun

• A character can't see (or is unlikely to be thinking about) the color of his eyes, or an angry glint in his own eye, or a dimple creasing his own cheek, and so on.

• A character can't see the skepticism in his own expression.

A Useful Test

A good way to 'test' whether something works when you're deep within a character's point of view in third person is to recast it in the first person and try it out. If it sounds ridiculous or vain, then don't use it when you're in deep viewpoint in third person either. Here's an example:

Original text:

'He looked at the view with his piercing blue eyes, stuffed his blond hair under his cap and, wearing a knowing smile, thought about what John had just said.'

If you put this in the first person, it goes like this:

'I looked at the view with my piercing blue eyes, stuffed my blond hair under my cap and, wearing a knowing smile, thought about what John had just said.'

See what I mean? Sounds silly. Whereas it would be fine to say 'I squinted at the view, stuffed my hair up under my cap and thought about what John had just said'. When you convert this back into the third person, you get: 'He squinted at the view, stuffed his hair up under his cap, and thought about what John had just said.'

Sounds much more natural!

4. Choose a Viewpoint Character: Don't Write About "They"

Not a lot of people do this - thank goodness - but I do see it crop up now and again. You need to choose one person to be the viewpoint character in each scene - not two at once! Let's say you are writing about twins. Even if you are going to alternate viewpoints, it's best to choose ONE of the twins to be the viewpoint character in each scene. Otherwise you can get the ridiculous effect of both characters thinking or saying exactly the same thing at the same time.

An example:

The twins walked up the hill, thinking about what they had just discovered. They wondered whether Carrie had really meant what she'd said. They thought she might feel differently later on.

"Do you want a hamburger for dinner?" asked their mother.

"Yes, that would be great!" they chorused. "Can we go and buy it now?"

This comes across as the work of an amateur. Sure, the twins could both be thinking about whatever it was they had discovered - but is it likely they would both be wondering (at the same time) whether Carrie had meant what she said, and that she might feel differently later on? By all means let them DISCUSS this - but give them individual thoughts. Ditto for what they say. How many people of your acquaintance actually 'chorus' things? How many say exactly the same thing at the same time?

This is the kind of problem you'll see if you constantly talk about 'they' rather than choosing one viewpoint character.

Clarity of viewpoint is more important than most writers realize. Make it a rule that whenever you edit your scenes, you put some time aside solely to check that you are being true to the viewpoint of the main character in the scene.